As many of you know, I have had the privilege of leading a ministry of which I love for the last six years.  My passion and enthusiasm increased over the years and I felt so blessed that the Lord had strategically placed me to use my gifts and talents. 

This past year, the Lord has taken me on a journey… one that has been very painful and difficult, very uncertain, very unsettling, and also very eye opening.  As the ministry increased its outreach, the workload increased and the “list” got longer.   Several times, I had felt the Lord nudging me into a closer relationship with Him.  I was relying on His direction to lead the ministry, and when I had a need in the other areas of my life I would go to Him, but He was calling me to go deeper.  Other things on the “list” were taking priority over my devoted, consistent time with Him.

I fell into the trap the enemy sets of believing I could do it on my own.  There was so much to do and I just needed to push forward and “get it done” like I had always done in the past.

I realize now how much this grieved Him.  It grieves Him when we don’t acknowledge the source of our blessing, the strength He gives us, and the desire He has for us to be closer.  When we try to do it in our own strength, we miss out on so much.

Over this past year, God orchestrated a turn of events in my life and in the process,  I have come to realize that He wants what is best for us, that He has a plan for us, that everything that happens is for our betterment and His glory.  I praise God for this past year and how He has shown me that operating on my own strength was all about my not letting go of doing it the “world’s” way.  I forfeited the opportunity of allowing Him to empower me. 

As painful as this past year has been, I can finally see Him more clearly.  I am learning to trust, learning to give up “control” of the circumstances of my life, to “rest” in Him.  As I have done this, I have seen Him the evidence of His love for me like never before.  I have felt His presence in more ways than I can even express.  Without my asking, He has proven Himself faithful.  How gracious of the God of the universe to love us.  How blessed we are.

I know that everything happens for a reason.  He is sovereign, He loves us, and His heart’s desire is for relationship and intimacy with us.  He can be trusted.  I have learned to acknowledge that the world’s ways are from the enemy…the focus of winning, the deception that we need so much “stuff”, that worldly recognition is important.   Through this year, I have learned that brokenness and surrender before the Lord are the only things that bring the peace we so desire.

My prayer is that we are not tempted to compare ourselves to others in this world.  Our only goal should be to be more like Jesus who rescued us through His death.  He deserves all of our praise!

 Just a few hours ago I crossed the finish line, completing my first marathon. I was overcome with emotion (that's right... I cried) as I reached the goal I set forth to accomplish through my training. It was so hard, and yet all I could think (and this may have been the coach in me saying this) was "trust the training, stick to the plan." As I reflect on what was achieved today, and all the training that was put into that moment, it makes me think a lot about how the Spirit has and is using the gospel in my life... 

     First, as I consider the sacrifices made by both me and the girls to complete the training process, such sacrifices pail in comparison to the price Christ paid on the cross. The grace and love of God can become something that I mention so loosely, but this process has really helped me to connect with the thought that a price was paid so that we might have a relationship with Christ. 

     The second important reflection from this experience dealt with all of the hard training that had to be done to meet my goal in the race. It certainly reminds me that I, too, must train myself for His race. Am I disciplined with the plan He has set forth for me in Scripture? What are the goals He has established for me? Am I focused on those goals? These questions have answers, and I am thankful for what we have been learning about the Holy Spirit recently. Not only am I reminded that I don't run this race alone (like the pace group I ran with in the marathon where the pacers coached us along), but I can also rest on God's promises that His Spirit will strengthen me and help me to remain focused on the goals in His race. 

     Third, I thought a lot about "control." Controlling my pace and "running my race" were so important in meeting my race goals. I like control... and if you haven't come to know my personality yet... I can, from time to time, be a little type "A." This thought took me back to when the Spirit was first changing my heart and desires towards a relationship with Christ. I had a really hard time relinquishing that control. I was searching for some sense of meaning and value in this world, but wanted to do that on my terms. Suddenly, it all changed! I recognized that the value I was searching for already existed in the Father's sacrifice of His son Christ. I was no longer running my race, but His race. 

      Lastly, my thoughts turned to race day, and the the roughly 17,000 people that participated in the race at Columbus today. This brought the thought to my mind that we don't run this race alone, which brings me such great joy! I am really enjoying the growth group that Christa and I are blessed to be a part of, where we really experience that sense of support and teamwork as we run this race together. Praise God for the opportunities we all have to know Him and one another more deeply. 

       In closing, I wanted to share with you two pieces of motivation, one quote and one Scripture, that I used to keep me focused during the race. The quote was, "Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great." We have a heavenly Father that bought us with a price, and gave us His spirit so that we might know Him deeply and intimately. Let us not sacrifice opportunities to know Him for the sake of our own "control." The verse that meant so much as I mentally prepared for the race was Hebrews 12:1-2, which says "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand throne of God." Praise God!

    For the last several years I have had the privilege of being one of the leaders in the second grade Pioneer Club. I also teach third and fourth grade Sunday School. When I was the age of these kids, I had a very distorted view of God. He was way out in space somewhere, had no idea who I was except when I did something wrong and then he was going to punish me severely. I knew facts about Jesus, but did not realize that he died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins and desired a personal relationship with me. Romans 5:8 says that God demonstrated his own love for me in this: While I was still a sinner Christ died for me. I was 28 years old before I heard the Gospel and prayed to receive Jesus. I couldn't get over the fact that Jesus knew me and loved me so much that he died for me. Someone told me once that if I was the only person on earth, Jesus still would have come and died on the cross. That made me feel very special and the desire was born in me to share this with children so they would know how important they are to God. Things people said to me when I was 8 or 9 whether positive or negative are still with me today, so I figure if I share how much God loves them they will remember it when they get older. It is also very neat to watch a child's countenance change when you share with them how much God loves them. For some children that may be the only time they hear about love. God begins to do a work in these children and to watch this and learn with the children is really awesome.
   Little did I know that God was going to use my Pioneer Club to minister to me as much or more than I was to the children this past winter. In the last year and a half I lost my job after 27 years; my wife became very ill and from December thru March was in Georgia most of the time receiving treatments; I found out that due to a pre- existing condition, I am unable to obtain affordable health insurance; and in January someone broke into our house and stole many items, some of which had special meaning to me. Through all of this I never really felt sorry for myself because I knew God was in control and there were people far worse off than me. What I did begin to notice was feelings of bitterness, anger, fear and even despair. During Pioneer Club we would sing a song called The Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22. It goes like this, the kids pick a fruit like an “apple” and we sing,

The fruit of the Spirit’s not an apple.
The fruit of the Spirit’s not an apple.
If you want to be an apple
You might as well hear it
You can't be a fruit of the Spirit.
The fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

You know how you get a song stuck in your mind and you can't get rid of it? Well one day at work God brought this song to my mind and I think it lasted most of that day. The more I thought about the fruit, the more I realized I had the fruit of this world instead of the fruit of the Spirit. In place of my bitterness, God wants me to have joy, peace for my fear and despair, love in place of my anger.  During that time I was also reading in the Monvee packet about putting on the fruit of the Spirit and putting off anger, rage, fear,.......  Each day I must remind myself what to put on and what to put off. Knowing the Pioneer Club song has been very helpful to me and when I find the wrong fruit creeping in, I begin to sing. I cannot begin to tell you how much better it is to put on the fruit of the Spirit and live in freedom rather than bondage to the fruit of the world.
    I wish I could tell you that all the problems have been solved, but in reality they haven't. I choose to look at them differently and realize no problem I have is bigger than the God I serve. It is so awesome how God uses adversity to teach and build character and I wouldn't trade the last year and a half for anything.

In John 15, Jesus is talking to His disciples, yet the words are also for us and they blow me away!!  Jesus says, “You are my friends….You did not choose me, but I chose you” (verses 14 and 16). This is just so incredible to me that Jesus, God’s own Son, wants me and chooses me to be His friend!

I cannot pinpoint the exact time and location when I became a Christian. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home with believing parents and grandparents. Going to church was as natural as eating and sleeping... It was a part of our life and started the week off on a great note. I am thankful for the firm foundation my parents and church (Sunday School, Bible School, youth group, worship) provided, because when I went off to college that Freshman year I chose to go to a different church every Sunday. It was a great experience worshipping with believers from the very high-brow/formal to the charismatic/no-order type service! That solid foundation protected me from unsound theology, and also helped me survive some very liberal professors and the classes they taught.

My Christian walk hasn’t always been the straight and narrow. For a few years, when I was in my late 20s/early 30s, I put on a good front. I was involved in Bible studies, church, working a summer Christian camp, and all sorts of good things for the Lord. However, I was living the life Paul talks about in Romans 7:15ff.., “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do….”. But God, in His forgiveness, grace and mercy brought me through that time. I Corinthians 10:13 is a good verse to claim, because even though we are Christians, temptations will always come our way. “…God is faithful and will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear…He will also provide a way out so we can stand up under it.”  PTL!!

God not only has blessed me with a strong Christian family, but over the years, wherever I was, He brought beautiful Christian friends into my life to help hold me accountable. He has also led me to strong, Bible teaching churches in which to grow and serve. Most of all, He has given me His Word – the Bible. These promises I can cling to, knowing that “….nothing will be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38, 39)

In closing, I’d like to share with you two verses that have been my ‘life’ verses over the last 30 years (there’s a story behind each one, but that’s for another time!!) I start each day with Psalm 118:24, “This is the day that the LORD has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it” The other is from Isaiah 40, especially verses 29-31; “He gives hope to the weary….but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

This last verse is a great reminder for me to keep on serving and living for Him no matter what happens or how old I may be!

          Hmmm. . . . ., my testimony. Well which one do you want? I have many testimonies of how God has worked in my life. How about the time when God confirmed to me that he was real, or how God showed me that he will provide just what I need when I need it, or when I pursued God he showed me that he was there the whole time, or how I came to know what the gift of salvation really meant, or how God taught me to trust in him during difficult times, or how He rewards obedience, or maybe the time when I found myself drowning in a sea of fear that He rescued me. All of these testimonies are part of my walk with the Lord. I treasure each of these times and often reflect back on them. They are recorded in my journal and I consider these moments to be the stones of the altar that I am building to worship and glorify God...

          Today I will tell you about how I experienced the peace and comfort that only comes from trusting in God.  Quite some time ago, Rob became ill, and had an episode of an irregular heartbeat. I took him to the ER to “catch” it on EKG for diagnosis, and not really thinking this was serious since he had had it several times before and it resolved on its own. The response from the medical team there was alarming. They immediately hooked him up to EKG, IVs and brought in the crash cart (things that are done for a life threatening condition). After many different doctors examined him, he had had IV medications, and still his heart continued in this irregular pattern, it was decided that he should be admitted to the hospital and if his heart did not return to regular rhythm by morning then the doctors would stop his heart and restart it using the defibrillator! Needless to say, I was trembling with fear that I was going to lose Rob. During this whole episode in the ER, there was one doctor who seemed to have a certain calmness and sureness in her bedside manner. She was wearing a badge on her lab coat that read “God is in control” and cited a Bible verse. This seemed to be a sign from God that everything was going to be okay. I found her medical advice to be the most trustworthy since we were getting such differences of opinions and plans presented to us because of the number of doctors and med students that came to see Rob’s unusual condition.

            God worked in my heart when I went home. I actually had to go back home because Matthew and Emily were at home with my parents and I felt that I should go home to them rather than stay with my husband. I have no idea how I had the strength to leave my husband, when I thought I may not see him alive in the morning. It had to have been God sending me home so that He could speak to me in the quietness of home. I went to bed that night and read my Bible. I had this feeling that I was drowning in the fear of losing Rob. What came to mind was the passage in the Bible that describes Jesus walking on water, and Peter coming to him, but drowning when he didn’t believe. “You of little faith,” Jesus says to him as he pulls him from the water. When I prayed to Jesus to watch over Rob, and to help me through whatever happened I had an unusual calmness and was no longer trembling. But the second I began to think, “What if. . . ., or what will I do . . . . .” I was physically shaking all over and my teeth were chattering and I felt sick to my stomach, I was drowning in my fear and lack of faith. It was only when I trusted that Jesus would guide me through whatever came about that I had a comfort and peace I didn’t know existed, He reached down and pulled me from the water. God was faithful through the night and I amazingly had a peaceful and restful sleep. I went early to the hospital to find Rob still with an irregular heartbeat but ready to have this procedure of stopping and restarting his heart. While the procedure was performed on him, I had to sit in a very small closet-like room with another woman who was very sympathetic to my situation. I think in some way my husband’s situation made her husband’s seem not as grave and was able to encourage her. I sat there and did the only thing to bring comfort and peace, I prayed.

          Growing up, my mom was always sure to take us to church.  My dad rarely went; he would attend on special holidays or special events but did not attend regularly.  We moved a lot as a child but the one thing that I remember is that my mom always found a church for us to attend. My dad's family was Lutheran and so my mom followed in that tradition and we attended a Lutheran church. My parents both had many problems, relationally and physically.  Needless to say I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents divorced when I was 16… This led me to move yet again to live with my grandparents in Athens, Ohio. It was a difficult move. I know now that God provided for me through my grandparents during that very difficult time of my life. What I lost in my parents I gained in my grandparents. They were a very special couple and I am so thankful they were able and willing to care for my younger brother and me.  I remember attending church with my grandparents while living in Athens. After high school I attended Ohio University and would attend church sporadically, I was more interested in hanging out with my friends, staying out late Saturday nights on the bar scene than going to church on Sunday mornings. 

           Luke and I met at Ohio University; we then married after college and moved to Springfield.  We had our son Brooks. We moved to South Vienna with the idea that we were going to eventually move to Columbus where Luke's parents and siblings lived. Luke was looking for a job in Columbus. I was looking for a church family. I was working at Tots Connection through the Clark County Health Department at the time. I was explaining to my coworkers that I was searching for a church.  Thank goodness I was working with a group of Christian women. I believe God placed them in my life to bring me closer to Him. I felt a pull, a needing, a longing to find a church family.  A friend at work mentioned First Presbyterian Church. Brooks and I attended.  At the time I was pregnant with Shelby. I will not forget the feeling of welcome. Sue came up to me and invited me to the Women's Sunday School class. I remember getting home and Luke was upset because I was gone so long. My plan was to just go to church and come back home. Little did we know the plans that God had for us! I began attending church regularly and then Luke came with me on Christmas Eve. We both started reading our Bibles and searching scripture. I began to realize that I knew about Jesus but did not really KNOW Him. Bill preached about having a personal relationship with Him and I had never really heard that before. I believed and knew what he did for me but did not realize that he wanted this personal intimate relationship with me!  At receiving the invitation to accept Christ in my heart, wanting to get to know him more, God changed so much about out lives.  Our plan to move to Columbus was changed.  I decided to stay home with our children.  We knew that the concept of me staying home meant many changes in our lifestyle; one was that we would have to move.  We decided to move to South Charleston and to this day I have said it is the best decision we have ever made! Of course, I do believe it was all in God's plan! God seemed to open and close doors for us and everything just fell into place. I am always amazed when I think of how he worked all things out.  We used to sing a song that said "God will make a way when there seems to be no way."  I have felt many times that there is no way in the many challenges that we have faced but he always makes a way and His way is always best! May God Bless you and keep you!!

    As a child, I was sent to church and Sunday school by myself. This was a fairly common practice for children during my childhood as my parents did not go. My mother was raised the same way. My father was from a Catholic/Protestant home, which caused extended family problems. He was raised to be tolerant to both but did not go to church. I had four Pentecostal Christian uncles, two tried to talk to me about the wrath of God.
     Church was a part of my week but not necessarily my life. I participated in all the church youth groups, became a member at age fourteen and even taught Sunday school to second graders when I was sixteen and seventeen. I was still a ‘Sunday Christian’, not incorporating it into my everyday life. My best friend at this time went to hear an evangelist and got saved.   She tried to influence me but to no avail. I did go with her to a Pentecostal church, but all I felt was God’s wrath, not His love. I felt the same when I would go with my uncles. The speaking in tongues actually scared me. In my late teen life, I attended only sporadically and lived without God in my life. When I met Alan and we married, we did attend but not regularly.
     When my children, Aubrey and Warren, were growing up, we attended more often, probably because we wanted them to go. I began to feel the Lord pressuring me but I still held back. I figured life would change and there would be too many restrictions...
     We moved to South Charleston and went looking for a church.  First Presbyterian was the first and only church we tried. The congregation was small and Pastor Bill and Sue had not been there very long. I also started working in an office with three Christian women.  Between them and our sermons, I began to be convicted. We were allowed to use headsets at work and my coworkers kept telling me to listen to WEEC. At first I was reluctant but tuned in more and more often. Then the church took a group to a Billy Graham crusade and I went forward. I did not have an immediate conversion. It took years before I realized that God had granted me His grace through Christ. I had doubts about it for a long time but finally my head knowledge became heart knowledge.
     I got cancer a couple of years ago and ended up in hospital for a couple of months with serious complications. I was given self-help and other books on cancer and of course there was the internet full of information. One day I decided to put them all away and let God take control, after all He had made sure I knew He was there at the very beginning. When the doctor at WPAFB told my about my diagnosis, she brought in the hospital chaplain and we prayed. It was not easy spiritually by any means.  I had many days I could not feel the Lord, but in my head I knew that He was there. My heart has had lots of times of loneliness. The worst time was when I had a feeding tube put in.  I remember asking God a few times to take me home. I had so many people praying for me in many parts of the world and at times God reminded me of this and that whatever His plan was, He was with me. He also gave me a wonderful loving husband who did a lot of things way outside his comfort zone. Alan was laid off when I needed a lot of care.  Many would think this another blow, but God was in control. He has not completed His plan for me--I’m still here.
     I regret not listening to the Lord and His prompting earlier in my life--how different things would have been. Now I know I needed to be ‘refined’.  It eventually increased my desire to know Him better. God does not make mistakes.  Everything that happens has a reason.
     I learned that when we are weak or in deep waters, we are constantly in His presence and we will not drown. In His presence we are secure, we find strength, comfort and safety. Isaiah 43:1-2
    I live knowing that God does not always grant us physical healing on earth but it will come when we enter Heaven. He does grant us spiritual healing when we accept Christ. To live with our sin brings us so much mental pain but Christ takes that all away. I desire to know Him better every day but fall short of His desire for me, but I know He loves me anyway.
      Alan and I are profoundly thankful for our church family. You show true friendship and love which is not found in all churches. The Lord is truly active in our church.